feeling tired and worn out and low energy from cold .... and life

Grateful for the good friends in my life

2009 Resolution

Be aware and live in the present moment

Snow Clothes

Any ideas where I can beg, borrow, steal or purchase used second hand snow clothes for TWO four-and-a-half feet tall, 70 pound active boys? Looks like we are heading towards the snow on Monday!

mind power

Grateful for love and friendships and that all of our basic needs are met. Our new hot water heater is installed, gas and water are turned back on, boys are happily bathing, T is grilling shrimp, chicken and beef for our xmas feast (salvadoran style - celebrating on the 24th).

Amazed, truly amazed, at the power of my own mind in determining my happiness.

Day Two

Much better today. I was able to start off my morning with some meditation/reflection, and had a much more positive outlook today than yesterday. Plus B had a 9am tutor session and we put get dressed on his list of things to do with HER. And I have my "patience" rock next to my bed to keep me on track.

Day One

Day 1: By 9:30am I totally lost it. Didn't have the patience to wait out getting dressed. Looks like we're in for a rough "vacation."

Wishing you peace and light
And the knowledge that tomorrow the darkness will be shorter
and the hope that the brightness will enluminate you

feeling sad and frustrated and short-tempered

Dear Santa,

Now that I live with christians and get to celebrate christmas every year, I've decided to write you my first letter. You won't be passing over my house, since we don't have either a mazzuzzuh or lamb's blood smeared by the door. So what I'd really like for christmas this year is patience. I need a lot of it, and mine always slips away just when I need it most. So please slide a large dose of patience down my chimney. Oh right, we don't have a chimney, so just leave it under the tree. By the way, our christmas tree is outside, next to the driveway, planted in our yard several januarys ago, since we don't see any sense killing an evergreen tree every year.

Thanks, Santa. You're the greatest!

plow pose

Wednesday is yoga day for PE at B's school. Apparently he is absorbing these lessons. He practices at home, particularly the halasana, or plow pose. Quick research shows this releases tension in the back and shoulders, and may help the practitioner get to sleep.

Just one more reason why I love B's new school.

Just yesterday it dawned on me that soon I need to start worrying about middle school. I really have no idea what the district or county offer in terms of middle school placements for my kids. I'm much more worried about A's placement, since B is set where he is till he turns 22, and possibly beyond since there is an adult day program there, too, unless there are significant changes.

Listening to acoustic sunset on Sunday evening radio, making gfcf ginger snaps with my kids, feeling almost "normal".

B and A both did a great job following simple one-step directions: bring me an egg, get a fork, mix it.

There is so much about this time of year that frustrates and disappoints me, with all the excess, consumerism, waste. And the "holidaze" just seem to emphasize the divide between the haves (money, family, majority traditions) and have nots. I try to select the pieces that resonate, celebrating peace, light, goodwill; and let go of the rest without appearing to be scrooge.

Good Night

It is 9:18pm and I haven't heard a peep from either kid since putting them to bed about 45 minutes ago. So, you see, miracles do happen.

quagmire

When does more information = harder decisions? Trying to figure out best health care options for the boys, and getting nowhere fast. Hard to do objective cost/benefit analysis when it comes to my kids' health.

Giving Thanks

for the many blessings in my life
family and friends
my home, good food, all the creature comforts we need
love
health
all the essentials, really
and enough challenges to appreciate our blessings more

Getting a head start on New Years Resolutions

* Simplify my life.
* Stop judging people. Accept people for who they are. Choose wisely who I spend time with, but without any malice or prejudgement.
*Learn to let things go.
* Make time to meditate.
* Work on my project.
* Don't yell at my children. Ever. For any reason except imminent danger.
* Be mindful.
* Be grateful.

Update: I'm not doing so great with the "don't yell at the kids" part. Well, I guess it depends on how imminent danger is defined. And the beauty of it is, these behaviors are all self-reinforcing. And the contrary holds true, too, that not doing these things is aversive, as they cause remorse and all sorts of bad feelings. The key, I believe, is in the last resolution.

Simplify

I want to simplify my life. Eliminate all that is superfluous. Pare down to focus on what really matters. Connect more to nature. Not have so many things to worry about. Free myself of financial worries. More mental and physical energy, fewer stressors, more peace.

Nuts!

I bought two pounds of raw unsalted nuts at the big box store because..... because they were there. A. just popped one in his mouth. Totally worth the purchase price, even if the other 17,000 nuts go to waste.

when advanced planning backfires

So I thought I was way ahead of the game, buying some holiday presents well in advance, as I found small treasures that would be appreciated by loved ones. Alas, B's scissor skills are more advanced than my planning, as he neatly cuts apart each package to liberate all round items and roll them across the floor.

paradise

80 degree beach weather in november, good friends, champagne, cheese and chocolate, amazing views, interesting conversation, and oh did i mention, NO CHILDREN.