Connected

I really connected with B this evening. T and A had already gone to bed (T was asleep, A was waiting on the top bunk to make sure that B would lie down in the bottom bunk). B had started to tear up a bit on the couch, not a meltdown, just a sadness, which happens to him from time to time, in a way that makes me wonder if he is reflecting on a sad emotion, on a really profound insight on the world and his own life, or if he has gas or maybe constipation. Or a combination of all that. Anyway, then he started going through the kitchen cabinets in a very purposeful way, and comes to the table with an unopened large plastic bottle of V8 like juice (which he has always rejected up to this point) and a wine glass (his beverage recipient of choice, and please don't try to offer him the plastic alternative in the same shape, only glass will do). I ask him if he wants me to open the juice, and he approximates open, so I do. He tries to pour but the bottle is big, full and heavy and his glass is thin and breakable, and the liquid is red, so I intervene and pour for him, just a 1/3 glass since I think he won't like it. He starts to drink, makes a bit of a face, but finishes his glass eventually. Then he wants more, so I pour him another 1/3 glass, and he protests, so I pour him a tiny bit more and tell him it's a lot (it is already 9pm and we try to avoid letting him have too much liquid at bedtime since until a few months ago bedwetting was a regular occurance). But he protests again and very clearly wants more, so I pour him a very full glass and he is happy. Does he really want that much juice, or is it just visually appealing to watch the thick red liquid fill up the pretty wine glass? But eventually he drinks it all. Meanwhile, he comes over to my chair, puts his arm around me and gives me a kiss. Then he spends some time peering into my mouth, exploring my teeth and tongue. What a little guy. He has so much going on inside his head, and there is so little of that that I really manage to understand. I think I need to try understanding much harder. My sweet boy.