Lunch Date

The school where T works is about 6 blocks away from where I work. Even so, we don't usually see each other during the work day, due to busy schedules and lots of work. Today I called him at noon and invited him to lunch. Can we go at 1:30? he asked. I can't get away until then." "That's fine." I said. Then I heard some hesitation in his voice, and asked what was up. "Well, if I go out to lunch with you, I won't be able to go home on my lunchbreak like I usually do, to straighten up the house, vacuum, and start on today's laundry." I couldn't help but smile. "That's ok, honey, I'll take care of it. Let's have lunch together. Pick me up at 1:30pm."

btw, we went to a relatively new middle eastern place on b'way right by the train track crossing -- allyoucaneat lunch buffet was lovely. We thought we might even be able to take the kids there during spring break, since they'd be so highly entertained by all the trains right outside the windows.

Random thoughts that are floating around in my head:

* Family. How I define it. What it feels like to me. Where I got these funky notions from. What I want my family to feel like. How I define family. (Context: Mom met stepson. Good visit. Raised a lot of internal thoughts for me).

* Being 17. In general, I think that was a great year. But when I try to remember specifics, they are all sticky, bittersweet, hard.

* Friendship. Am I so paranoid that my pre-diagnosis friends will ditch me now that I don't put enough effort into maintaining those relationships? (context: really nice visit from a long-ago friend and her kids who were super sweet).

* Gratitude. Trying to focus on it.

* Meditation. How to prioritize my practice. Make it happen.

overwhelming

Some days, everything seems overwhelming. Today is one of those days.