Tuesday, March 27, 2007
I had the opportunity to look failure in the face this past week. Tore part of my soul out I believe. Raised a lot of issues for me regarding ethics, value, communication, and ability. In the end I was able to conclude that I hadn't really failed. Or at least that the failure wasn't 100% attributable to me. But in the process I self-learned that I have A LOT of issues with my own failure. I have a really hard time accepting the fact that I may not be successful in something that I attempt. That I may fail in something that I attempt and try really hard to achieve. I may fail even though I try my best. That terrifies me. I may fail even though I try my best. I think that is the heart of my terror. I think that is a lesson that I really need to learn. That even though I try my best I may fail. And that's ok.