ciswy

my options, in chronological order:
1. Spent my entire lifetime believing I was fat, even though it's probably only really been true for the past 7 years, and for a time in college. Why? Because of the catty girls behind me in the water fountain line who said that my belly was getting so fat as I was drinking water. In retrospect, they were probably just hot and thirsty and wanted me to hurry up.

2. Requiring speech therapy in first/second grade because I couldn't pronounce the sh sound. came out as s. Not too big a deal, unless you know my name irl.

3. 2nd grade school bus. I got on the bus at almost the last stop, and noone would let me sit with them. Happened repeatedly. Although i wasn't aware of why at the time, in hindsite and conversations with my bro, it was probably bec i was one of the few jewish kids on the school bus.

4. 4th grade. chorus tryouts. basically all the kids get to join. all the time. except for me. Did it have anything to do with the fact that all the other kids were given familiar christmas songs to sing, together in a group, and I was given a hanukah song that I didn't know to sing by myself?

5. 6th grade when two classmates taunted me (endlessly), claiming that I stuffed my bra. And that I did such a poor job that the 2 sides were uneven.

6. Junior high, and the perpetual lunch time fear that I wouldn't have anyone to sit with in the cafeteria.

7. Adulthood, challenged to take on a creative writing project and terribly fearful that I don't have the ability or the wit to produce anything publishable.

Moon

B pointed to the moon and approximated "moon" tonight (I prompted, as T or I do every night it is visible from the bedroom window, to say goodnight to the moon).

Distal pointing.

Yeah.

Sleep Away Camp

I signed up BOTH my boys for 2 sessions of weekend sleepaway camp, in December and March. Such a big step! I think it will be really good for them, and I KNOW it will be really good for me. I talked to another parent there who also has 8 year twin boys with significant disabilities, who was incredulous that T and I have only had 2 nights (not even consecutive) EVER alone together without the boys since they were born. He's been sending his kids to sleepaway camp since they were 5. I'm really hopeful that it will help them increase their independence skills, and just open them up to a new experience. Many thanks to jennyalice and Mama B who supported me in making this big decision!

I accompanied another mom to an iep meeting today. The school psych was trying to explain that her beautiful did not meet the requirements for a mental retardation diagnosis, but he came awfully close. I'm not sure how much she was able to absorb. Just the not mentally retarded part. Or really close. I could see how painful it was for the professionals to break this news to the parent. And yet, the mom needs to know this. She needs to understand as much as possible about what her son needs, including where he is at right now, and what kind of support he needs to progress. Hard day.

Tent Camping!

All four of us went tent camping this weekend, and we all came back whole and healthy with not even a close brush with mortality, so the trip definately exceded my expectations. Sacramento River Delta, with a group of about 65 campers from a special needs group on the Coast, who invited us to join them. Several young adults with disabilities such as downs and autism, including at least one independent young adult with downs who was unaccompanied except by his younger sister. Very supportive group of people. A few high school students around, who were getting social service credits for running after B and helping some of the kids in electric wheelchairs maneuver around the campsite terrain. Great weather, collective meals, swimming and boat rides in the mercury-contaminated fish-filled river. I think we'll do it again next year. Maybe even time to invest in our own tent.

I took my first-ever yoga class tonight, and really enjoyed it. Gentle Yoga, the class is called. 7 students, many with issues such as arthritis, obesity, joint issues. Age range from 20-something to 70-something. Great introduction for me. I'm hoping to be back there next Monday evening.

Good Boy

Every morning when I put B on the school bus, I tell him he has to be a good boy, then ask him if he will be a good boy, then wait for him to echo back "good boy" so I know he is paying attention. Seems like the concept is not quite sinking in though.

B has been having some "issues" with the school bus. The problem started on the day that the classroom staff put someone else's jacket on him on a 90 degree afternoon and sent him home on the bus for a 90 minute ride. Poor guy was overheated and not happy. Ever since then, he has been figuring out how to wriggle out of his buckle guard (and through the guard out the bus window) and wriggle out of the harness (this kid is more agile than Houdini!!!) and walk around the schoolbus as the driver is trying to concentrate on Freeway traffic.

Equation II

so i think there must be an equation between amount of wine drunk and feelings of great love. I think the equation results in a sine curve.

2 glasses of wine later...

The teacher I'd been waiting 2 years for until an opening in her class became available for one of my sons.... is having a hard time with my son. Aaarghhh!!!! I thought she'd be perfect for him, provide enough structure to prevent the negative behaviors and encourage some actual learning and progress. But instead she writes me notes that he is pulling down his pants in the play area and at snack time and starting to poop.

WTF does he have a 1:1 for if not to NOT LET HIM PULL HIS PANTS DOWN AND POOP IN THE PLAY AREA?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

One of the many things I'm grateful for

Doing housework is a nonissue in my home. T does the majority of it. I do the things he doesn't like to do. We have periodic disagreements about certain things, but that's on a monthly or yearly basis, not a daily basis. We both share a general philosophy that we each try to get done whatever we can when there's a moment, so noone gets stuck with too much at the end of the day. That's a really nice thing.

The things I want to know about blogging

How come squid's blog always knows who I am, but my own doesn't?
How exactly do you make those cool links to the things you are talking about?
How can I change my background color to purple instead of bright pink?

Fruit Trees

My parents owned and lived in the same home for 32 years and never once planted a fruit tree. Since we bought this house 6 years ago, T has planted 1 lemon tree, 2 peach trees, 1 plum tree, 1 cherry tree, 3 fig trees, 1 apricot tree, 1 nectarine tree, 1 orange tree, 1 apple tree, 2 pear trees, a grape vine, several berry varieties, and a few others that didn't survive. 1 of the peach trees and the orange tree died, and the cherry tree has not born fruit (apparently needs a partner). The berries didn't survive. But we have one heck of a fruit harvest. And if you've ever been to my place, you know we don't have a whole lot of land, nor do we spend an extraordinary amount of time these days in the garden. But oh how beautiful it is to lie in the hammock at sunset and feel the breeze blow threw the leaves and spot the ripened black figs that I plan to pick as soon as I can convince myself to arise.

Equation

I think there must be a mathematical equation that proves how the closer it gets to bedtime (theirs, not mine) the less patience I have.

HOT

Not as in hot mama. As in 97 degrees. As in I want to go to a cool dark bar and drink a beer. And hang out where no-one under age 21 is allowed. Where no one whines, including me.