Swim Lessons Update

I should clarify that these are private 1:1 swim lessons, which are really what my kids need. I've been thinking about trying to enroll at least A in the local park and rec swim lessons, and now realize that would have probably been a mistake. Both A and B are really 1:1 learners, and that is the environment that they most thrive in. A is doing fabulous, really has learned a lot in a short period of time. He is close to being water safe. B is still very fearful, but was willing to practice kicks and scoops with the instructor from the safety of the not-hot tub.

Swim Lessons

A had his first swim lesson today. He did great. The instructor was VERY good, patient, modeled everything, used direct short phrases, gave pretty good verbal reinforcement. Short lessons on kicking, "scoops" (arms), blowing bubbles under water, working on putting face in water ("get your eyes wet"), got him to float on his back (with support). A is very interested, did a good job listening to everything she said, tried to do it. He continued to practice after she left. Very nice.

Maybe tomorrow we can get B interested.

"Your son is so calm and well behaved" Yup, that's what a fellow passenger said to me yesterday, on the airplane, when I was with B. Thanks for sending all your positive vibes our way - it definately worked. Both boys were great on the entire trip, from the moment we picked them up at school at 11am, until we pulled into my parents garage at 1:45am. In other words, a VERY long trip!!! But I really couldn't have asked for better behavior.

Today, we spent the day at my folks' screened in pool. My mom lined up swimming lessons, starting tomorrow. A is definately ready - he is trying by himself, and not afraid of going under. B prefers the coziness of the hot tub, where he is choosing to spend most of his time. Me, I'm in the shading sipping cosmos....

Summer Reading

I need a good book to read. Something I can use to escape, take a vacation from life for a stolen hour. Nothing disturbing, nothing scary. Fantasy = good. What do you suggest?

STRESS

IEP tomorrow for A. Major stress. So much pressure to get my kid the services he needs in order to learn. And it is all in my hands, it all depends on me and my ability to negotiate.

RELAX

I got a massage today. It was a gift from Squid. For no other earthly reason than that she is an extraordinarily generous woman. For months now, I've been savoring the knowledge that any time I want I could go get a massage. I decided it was the perfect way to kick off Mothers Day Weekend (which usually is a bittersweet more-sad-than-happy occassion for me). And now I am incredibly relaxed. The massage therapist loosened all the knots in my back and feet ("wow, you sure carry a lot of tension here" she exclaimed at one point). Used lavender oil and some therapeutic ointment that warmed up my back. Aahhhhh.....

Treat

While finishing up a lovely lunch date with one of my favorite people in the world, we coincidently run into first one, and then immediately another, of my favorite people. As an added bonus, this final friend had in her minivan the shortest-cutest-roundestcheeked person who ever spoke in complete sentences. So then of course we had to all go get coffee and what the shortest-cutest-roundestcheeked person refers to as macaroons, but as far as I can tell are cookies. Mmmmm.

What a blessing to have such great friends.

Here's what I've learned this past month:
* bones break
* I'm not good at planning events
* I get stressed out when I have too much going on
* Sometimes, usually, talking about stuff doesn't make me feel better.
* I have really amazing friends
* I need to organize my time, things, energy, activities, etc. better
* My memory sucks

Namaste

Our mission on this earth is to find bliss, or grace as my friend jennyalice says, by loving and accepting ourselves and each other in our imperfectness.

crossing midline

Today I saw A cross his legs to put on his socks. That's the first time I've noticed him doing it that way.

Full Time?

I really don't know how the full time moms out there do it. I've just put in 8 hours solo with my two, and I'm ready to go bonkers. I even had adult company for part of it!

Give me a call if you want to slip away and go to the movies or something this evening. I believe I've earned some down time.

Lunch Date

The school where T works is about 6 blocks away from where I work. Even so, we don't usually see each other during the work day, due to busy schedules and lots of work. Today I called him at noon and invited him to lunch. Can we go at 1:30? he asked. I can't get away until then." "That's fine." I said. Then I heard some hesitation in his voice, and asked what was up. "Well, if I go out to lunch with you, I won't be able to go home on my lunchbreak like I usually do, to straighten up the house, vacuum, and start on today's laundry." I couldn't help but smile. "That's ok, honey, I'll take care of it. Let's have lunch together. Pick me up at 1:30pm."

btw, we went to a relatively new middle eastern place on b'way right by the train track crossing -- allyoucaneat lunch buffet was lovely. We thought we might even be able to take the kids there during spring break, since they'd be so highly entertained by all the trains right outside the windows.

Random thoughts that are floating around in my head:

* Family. How I define it. What it feels like to me. Where I got these funky notions from. What I want my family to feel like. How I define family. (Context: Mom met stepson. Good visit. Raised a lot of internal thoughts for me).

* Being 17. In general, I think that was a great year. But when I try to remember specifics, they are all sticky, bittersweet, hard.

* Friendship. Am I so paranoid that my pre-diagnosis friends will ditch me now that I don't put enough effort into maintaining those relationships? (context: really nice visit from a long-ago friend and her kids who were super sweet).

* Gratitude. Trying to focus on it.

* Meditation. How to prioritize my practice. Make it happen.

overwhelming

Some days, everything seems overwhelming. Today is one of those days.

today's scare

B escaped today. The padlock on our front door wasn't fully secured, so while I was in the bathroom this morning he managed to take it off, and run down to the major street that is 5 houses away. I walk out of the bathroom and see A standing by the open front door laughing. That's the giveaway. I look outside, no B in sight. Walk out to the driveway, there he is heading towards traffic filled street, full speed ahead. I run after him, shouting for him to stop. I kick off my slippers, which are slowing me down. I still can't catch up to him, he's getting further away. Turned the corner. Still on the sidewalk, heading for the intersection with the traffic light. Suddenly, he stops in front of the apartment complex on the corner, and heaves the padlock over the fence, towards the swimming pool. I'm close now, and he stays still. Lets me grab him. Knows he pushed the envelop a bit too far. We walk back to the house, iron grip the whole way. Sit down on the couch for an 8 minute time out. I tell him it's not ok to leave the house without mami; he has to stop when I say stop. Say "I'm sorry Mami" ... "Um muma mumi" "B, you need to be a good boy" "Guh buh".

I need to figure out how to get protective care services for that kid, before tragedy strikes for real.

Hair Pulling

I've been thinking alot about the expression "pulling my hair out". It's the kind of thing one would say when frustrated, when one can't quite get it right even though one is trying hard. I wonder if that is what A is feeling, since he's now pulled out a 2 inch x 1 inch triangular segment of his hair, on his left side (he is a lefty). Although honestly at this point I see him do it as a stim, unconsciously, not at moments of peak frustration (and relatively speaking, he tends to be less frustrated than his close relatives). Having him wear gloves helps. Except at meal time, when that gets messy. Although I had him wear a rubber glove at dinner last night, when he started pulling out his hair. Such a sweet kid, he always asks permission before taking the glove off. So today, T took A (and G) for haircuts. We are hoping that the less hair he has, the less he'll pull at it. We'll see. I thought that the bald patch would be less noticeable with really short hair, but I was wrong. G looks really cute with his haircut, but he doesn't like it, he thinks it's too short.

Peas Update

Another first for B: this morning, he was eating his crunchy peas from a little plastic bag (the plastic box they came in has long since moved on). After he was all ready for the schoolbus to arrive, he picked up his snack bag, and put it in his backpack himself! He has never taken this kind of initiative, to pack a treat for himself to have for later.

whirled peas

Last night, B ate a "vegetable" voluntarily for the first time ever. I have to put the word in quotation marks because they are those dried, salted peas that come in a plastic box and probably have no nutritional value whatsoever. Nonetheless, I felt it deserved documentation. BTW, he likes the plastic box MORE than the peas themselves, but he still does pop the peas in his mouth. Salty and crunchy, and slightly resembling the texture of sand pebbles dissolving in the mouth (which he adores!).

a bit of wisdom from my comadre

mistakes are perfection

worried

I'm a little worried about A. He is really slow and spacey and stimmy. And stressed out. And we are stressing him out more when we try to get him to hurry up. It's getting harder now that school has started up again, and he can no longer spend 2 hours eating breakfast. I'm not sure what to do. Any suggestions?